Thursday, August 24, 2006

United Assclowns

Perhaps a new slogan for United Airlines could be Unbound Incompetence.

My luggage reached me today.

I checked it in at the airport on Sunday August 20th at 10:30 am.

I saw it again only nine minutes ago at 9:30pm, today, Wednesday August 24th.

For three days while in Canada my luggage was "delayed baggage". A pleasant turn of phrase that, isn't it?

What that meant was no toiletry articles, no clean clothes.

I was on business not on pleasure.

So the first day I had to conduct business in the type of attire we fly in nowadays which as you know is increasingly casual.

I was assured by the delayed baggage call center for United Airlines which as you can only imagine has been outsourced to India, yes, that's right if you fly United Airlines and your luggage is lost you will be dealing with endless, polite protestations of how dreadfully sorry they are and damn little actual action to return your luggage.

United Airlines call center in Indiana has eight more days of employment before they are all laid off. That's eight more days of every fifth person you speak to being on the same continent you are.

Now I work with people from the Indian subcontinent and other places close to it.

I must have been spoiled by their competence, work ethic, ingenuity and ability to rise above challenges encountered.

Its likely that the call flows used by United Assclowns..err United Arline's outsourcer for that call center to not have included what to do when there is conflicting information. This would be an excellent opportunity for me to provide some "coaching feedback" for them. I will enjoy it, I doubt sincerely that whomever I deal with will.


United Airlines baggage handlers swear up and down that your bag is in the right airport, in customs for a foreign country.

The customs personnel and baggage handlers swear up and down its not there.

You drive to the airport after your luggage has been "delayed" for 44 hours to find out that, no really, its not there.

You call the United Assclowns call center only to have someone reading from their script argue with you about it being on site with you despite you having already searched.

Yes, this is what happened to me.

To top this all off that day four,yes, four times I had been disco'd while the Indian agent went "to check on the status of my luggage".

I was unfailingly courteous to everyone at United Assclowns...err...Airlines irregardless of where the call center was.

It was not their fault my luggage had been rifled through by the TSA who did not take the time to re-zip the closures on my bag and then it was repeatedly "expedited to my location" only to arrive at the airport in my original destination
after I had already left that country and was en route to my home.

Should you be considering who to do business with for your work or personal travel bear this in mind; Who will be taking your call for lost luggage?

One other item to cover; Canadians are really nice. The people in Canada made a horrid travel experience endurable.

I will have to look into purchasing some Canadian products.

I could use one of those C-7's with what looked to be an Elcan the guard matching behind the band I saw had.


The Conservative UAW Guy said...

Para Ordnance makes some pretty sweet products, too!

Sorry about your hassles, BTW.

roninaz said...

I appreciate the kind thougt.

Para Ordinance does make some nice .45acp pistols.

I remember being shocked at the high capacity .45s they made.